Once
More With The Ring
This is a silly fic. But not the stupid kind of silly fic, I might add. Let me warn you, you really won't enjoy this if you haven't seen Buffy's S6 episode "Once More With Feeling". The lyrics of the 'new' songs are to be sung on the same tunes as in the Buffy ep. I did add a few verses a couple of times, but it's always the same tune.
I wrote this
as if it were a transcript, it seemed more logical. It's consequently
cut into four acts, just like the Buffy ep.
ACT I
NOTE : All sung lyrics are indicated by an Æ symbol.
1. EXT. WOODS - A CLEARING - NIGHT
Most of the Company's asleep, but for GANDALF and ARAGORN, talking quietly
together. FRODO walks away from the company.
CUT TO :
2. EXT. WOODS - NIGHT
FRODO is walking in the woods. Everything is silent around him. He looks
pretty distraught.
FRODO: Æ Every single day, the same arrangements
We go on and walk some more
Still I always feel the strange estrangement
Nothing here is real, nothing here is right.
I've been making shows
Of carrying this [clutches ring on his chest]
Just hoping no one knows
That I've been sinkin' under the burden
Stumblin' under the weight
Nothing seems to alleviate this walk!
My life was always calm and kind of dream-like
Now I find the nightmare's started.
Carry the One Ring
You'll find this life just doesn't mean a thing
CUT TO:
3. EXT. LOTHLORIEN - GALADRIEL'S MIRROR - NIGHT
GALADRIEL is leaning over her mirror, watching FRODO's image.
GALADRIEL : Æ He ain't got that swing
CUT TO :
4. EXT. WOODS - NIGHT
Back to FRODO, who's heard a voice sing this in the air and is quite puzzled.
FRODO : Æ Thanks for noticing?
I do pretty well at smoking herbs
But lately I can tell
That I've been sinkin' under the burden
Faking the good mood
I'm not even half the hobbit I was...
Will I stay this way forever?
Sleepwalk through this trip's endeavour?
Why can't I just say: whatever!
I don't wanna be... sinkin' under the burden
Losing all my drive
I can't even see
If this is really me
And I just wanna feel.... alive!
CUT TO :
5. EXT. WOODS - THE CAMP CLEARING - DAY
The company wakes up. FRODO fidgets nervously for a while, watching Sam
cook breakfast.
FRODO: Did anybody... [They all look up at him, anxious.]... last night...
did anybody... burst into song?
GIMLI: Merciful Eru!
LEGOLAS: I went for a walk in the woods but I had my flute so...
GANDALF: Aragorn and I were just watching out and we started singing about
the silent darkness...
PIPPIN: Some vile hobbit [looks at Merry] claimed that it was my turn
to do the dishes and we argued about it in song.
ARAGORN: It felt as if the whole world agreed with the songs...
LEGOLAS: That would explain the squirrels choregraphy and the backing
luths.
MERRY: It was your turn to do the dishes!
SAM: And I ended up doing them. And singing about plates.
BOROMIR: Will you just shut your mouthes? Hearing you sing last night
was already enough of a trial.
MERRY: We weren't the ones singing about how stupid it
was to go into Mordor.
GANDALF, to FRODO: What did you sing about?
FRODO, uneasy: I don't remember. Nothing important.
LEGOLAS: It felt perfectly natural, in any case.
GIMLI: Not in the order of things. Dwarves don't sing,
not like that, not those kinds of songs. And I say we should find a way
to stop it from happening again, 'cause for one I--
GANDALF: Æ I've got a theory that it's a demon
An ancient demon, nah something isn't right there
ARAGORN: Æ I've got a theory, some elf is dreaming
And we're all stuck inside his great enchanting dream
GIMLI: Æ I've got a theory we should work this out
ALL: Æ It's getting eerie, what's this cheery singing all about?
PIPPIN: Æ It could be an elf, some real evil elf,
Which is ridiculous, cuz elves they are the wisest
And the super good and love the earth
And magic power and I'll be over here. [sits down]
GIMLI: Æ I've got a theory, it really is elves!
All look at him, obviously sick with the rivalry between the two races.
SAM: Æ I've got a the-
GIMLI: Æ They aren't just cute like everybody supposes
They've got them agile legs and perfectly braded hair
And what's with all the sweet songs?
What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?
An elf! An elf, it must be an elf!
Pyrotechnics, big show. Off everyone's stunned look. A beat.
GIMLI : Æ Or maybe Goblins?
ARAGORN: Æ I've got a theory, we should work this fast
ARAGORN & GANDALF: Æ Because it clearly could get serious before
it's passed
FRODO: Æ I've got a theory, it doesn't matter [All turn to him.]
What can't we face if we're together?
What's in Mordor that we can't weather?
A bunch of Orcs? We've all been there.
The same old trips, why should we care?
ALL: Æ What can't we do if we get in it?
We'll work it through within a minute.
We have to try, we'll pay the price.
It's do or die
GANDALF: Æ Hey I'll die once!
ALL: Æ What can't we face if we're together?
What's in Mordor that we can't weather?
There's nothing we can't face...
GIMLI: Æ Except for the elves...
BOROMIR: See? That was disturbing.
LEGOLAS : I thought it was neat.
FRODO: We have to find what's causing it.
GANDALF, frowning: I thought it didn't matter.
FRODO: Well, I'm not shaking in my secret and wonderful mithril coast,
but there's definitely something unnatural going on here, and that usually
doesn't lead to smoking herbs up in trees.
LEGOLAS: Is it just us? Because that would probably mean an enchantment.
The noises from a fight in the woods attract their attention.
CUT TO:
6. EXT. WOODS - DAY
Two Orcs are fighting roughly over some meat. Very, very roughly, they
even draw their awfully ugly swords.
ORC 1: Æ That joint of meat is mine!
ORC 2, in counterpoint: Æ That joint of meat is mine!
They kill each other with their swords.
CUT TO:
7. EXT. WOODS - THE CAMP CLEARING - DAY
FRODO, who's got closer to spy on them, turns back to the company.
FRODO: It's not just us.
ARAGORN: I'll go have a walk, check out the surroundings.
GANDALF: We should all do so. Let the hobbits stay here, with... Boromir
for protection.
BOROMIR: Fine. But let me warn you, the minute they start singing I'm
outta here.
CUT TO:
8. EXT. WOODS - DAY
Deep in the woods. ARAGORN is walking around, inspecting everywhere, trying
to find clues to what's happening to them. His face gets a dreamy look,
he clutches the pendant on his chest, and we see what he's thinking about:
flashes of ARWEN singing, ARWEN laughing, ARWEN dancing, ARWEN crying,
lots of ARAGORN and ARWEN moments, who will continue throughout his song.
ARAGORN: Æ I lived my life in shadow
Never the sun on my face
It didn't seem so sad though
I figured that was my place
Now I'm bathed in light
Something just isn't right
I'm under her spell
How else could it be
A new hope invaded me
It's magic I can tell
How she set me free
Brought me out so easily
I saw a world enchanted
Spirits and charms in the air
I always took for granted
That I would be lonely there
But her power shone
More gentle than any I'd known
I'm under her spell
Nothing I can do
She just took my soul with her
She worked her charm so well
Suddenly I knew
Everything in me was true
She made me believe
The moon to the tide
She can feel me inside
I'm under her spell
Surging like the sea
Wanting her so helplessly
I break with every swell
Lost in ecstasy
Spread beneath my evening star
She makes me complete
She makes me complete
She makes me complete
She makes me
SMASH CUT TO:
9. EXT. WOODS - THE CAMP CLEARING - DAY
BOROMIR is practising some sword moves. SAM, MERRY and PIPPIN are sitting
around something which Sam is cooking in a pan. FRODO is a little farther
off, engulfed in his thoughts.
SAM: I bet they're not even patrolling.
PIPPIN: Yeah. They're probably singing a happy song. Right now. Without
us.
MERRY: We don't even have the right to sing! [looks at Boromir who's practising
sword moves]
BOROMIR, while practising: Oh, you can sing. I just doubt it'll be easy
to keep going without your vocal chords.
SAM: I think it's nice anyway. Singing and dancing... what's gonna be
wrong with that?
CUT TO :
10. EXT. WOODS - DAY
Deep in the woods. An elf is tap-dancing. He can't control it, and looks
frantically around for help. He ends up in fire. A female version of BtVS
SWEET appears.
SWEET, laughs: That's entertainment.
FADE OUT
ACT II
11. EXT. WOODS - NEAR THE CAMP - DAY
The camp is within eyesight. LEGOLAS catches a glimpse of something glimmering,
kneels down and retrieves it: a pendant.
LEGOLAS: Beautiful.
LEGOLAS puts it in his pocket and goes on with his inspection of the woods.
CUT TO :
12. EXT. WOODS - THE CAMP CLEARING - DAY
SAM is having a nap. BOROMIR is pacing, clearly eager to have something
to do. MERRY and PIPPIN are preparing themselves a second breakfast. FRODO
is still a little to the side, watching them.
PIPPIN: Do you want me to make you waffles?
MERRY: Will you still make me waffles once all this is over?
PIPPIN: No, I'll only make some for myself. But since you're such a greedy
hobbit, you'll come and eat half of them anyway. [frowns] Or I could do
an omelet.
MERRY, while PIPPIN keeps talking about breakfast:
Æ This is the boy with whom I have so much fun
Isn't he fine?
BOROMIR: That's it. I'm going. [leaves]
MERRY: Æ My aim in life is to play jokes on people
Kidding is mine
FRODO, getting up: Coming too! [follows BOROMIR into the woods]
MERRY: Æ Now we're two in the biz
The name I made I'll link with his
The only trouble is... I'll never tell.
PIPPIN: Æ He is the one, he's such wonderful fun
Such amusement and wit
Up until the fights that we have 'bout the dishes he
should have
done
I'll never let him go
The fun we've known can only grow
There's just one thing that - no. I'll never tell.
BOTH: Æ 'Cause there's nothing to tell.
MERRY: Æ He snores.
PIPPIN: Æ He wheezes.
MERRY: Æ Say 'serious' and he freezes.
PIPPIN: Æ He eats these skeezy cheeses even I can't describe.
MERRY: Æ I talk, he breezes.
PIPPIN: Æ He doesn't know what pleases.
MERRY: Æ He once gave me diseases from the Took tribe.
BOTH: Æ The vibe gets kind of scary.
PIPPIN: Æ Like he thinks I'm not that funny.
MERRY: Æ Like it's all just temporary.
PIPPIN: Æ Like his toes are not that hairy
BOTH: Æ But it's all very well
'Cause God knows I'll never tell!
MERRY: Æ When things get rough he just hides behind his Strider
Now look he's getting huffy 'cause he knows that I know
PIPPIN: Æ He clings, he's needy, he's also really greedy,
He never-
MERRY: Æ His eyes are beady!
PIPPIN: Æ This is my verse, hello! He-
Interrupted by MERRY dancing extremely well.
MERRY: Look at me, I'm dancing crazy!
PIPPIN joins him, they do the same moves. Dance very well (some tango
at one point - exactly the same moves as Xander and Anya in BtVS) for
a while.
BOTH: Æ You know...
PIPPIN: Æ You're quite the joker!
MERRY: Æ My sidekick joker!
PIPPIN: Æ You're the most fun of the company
With your jokes as good as cookies
And despite all the dishes you shoulda done
They dance a bit more, slowly (still the same as Xander and Anya).
MERRY: Æ He's short
PIPPIN: Æ He's shorter
MERRY: Æ He'll always be my feller.
PIPPIN: Æ That's why I'll never tell him that I'm petrified.
MERRY: Æ I read this tale, there's friendship then betrayal
I know there'll come the day I want to run and hide!
BOTH: Æ I lied, I said it's easy
I tried, but there's these fears I can't quell
PIPPIN: Æ Will he eventually become more mature?
MERRY: Æ Will I be as funny when I've got old?
PIPPIN: Æ Will our lives become too stressful
If he grows up and I don't?
MERRY: Æ When I get all worn and wrinkly
Will I joke like David Brinkley?
PIPPIN: Æ Am I crazy?
MERRY: Æ Am I dreamin'?
PIPPIN: Æ Am I the friend of this hobbit?
BOTH: Æ We could really raise the beam in making friendship a hell!
So thank God I'll never tell!
I swear that I'll never tell!
PIPPIN: Æ My lips are sealed.
MERRY: Æ I take the fifth.
PIPPIN: Æ Nothing to see, move it along!
BOTH: Æ I'll never - tell!
They burst out laughing and hug. It startles SAM out of his sleep. SAM
watches them, bewildered, still not fully awakened.
CUT TO:
13. EXT. WOODS - THE CAMP CLEARING - A BIT LATER IN THE DAY
PIPPIN and MERRY are talking to GANDALF, who's come back from the woods.
SAM is still in the process of waking up, absently watching something
cooking.
PIPPIN: It's a nightmare. It's a plague.
MERRY : It has to be stopped!
PIPPIN : It's like a nightmare about a plague.
MERRY : It was like we were being watched.
PIPPIN : I didn't want to be saying things but they just kept pouring
out!
MERRY: Like there were some invisible guys enjoying watching us - and
my toes are hairy!
PIPPIN: And they rhymed and they were mean - my eyes are not beady! You
really have to do something, Gandalf.
GANDALF: Well I was thinking about -
MERRY : And obviously, our number clearly was a retro pastiche that's
never going to be a breakaway elvish pop hit.
PIPPIN: Work with us, spooky wizard. Shake your magic stick and sort this
out. Pretty please?
GANDALF: Well it's not quite that simple, Peregrin, but I have learned
about some disturbing things. I came upon a strange corpse in the woods...
Focus on SAM, GANDALF's voice fades away. SAM sniffs something in the
air, immediately takes the pan off the fire and opens it. Its contents
are burnt.
SAM: Æ How can this be, please no!
It isn't fair, I was sleeping!
This has been cooking for too long!
I didn't think it was this late!
Why not go back in time? [cries over the remains of food]
Focus on GANDALF, MERRY and PIPPIN again, whose conversation has been
undisturbed by SAM's song.
PIPPIN: ... as in burnt up? Setting an elf on fire? That's nuts!
MERRY: I don't know. One more verse of our little song and I would have
started looking for a pair of flintstones.
GANDALF: Well, clearly emotions are running high but as far as I can tell,
these people burned up from the inside, they spontaneously combusted.
[A beat. He looks around, alarmed.] But where's Frodo?
MERRY, looking somewhat guilty: He and Boromir wandered off a while back...
guess they didn't like our song.
PIPPIN: They strode off while you were singing, if I recall correctly.
Had they had the time to hear my voice, they would have stayed and enjoyed
the show.
GANDALF: I'm worried about Frodo. He used to be such a lively hobbit.
MERRY: Don't worry, just give him time to adjust. He'll work it through.
PIPPIN: Yep, that he will. He's Frodo. He's a Baggins. [awkwardly pats
GANDALF's shoulder]
CUT TO:
14. EXT. DEEP IN THE WOODS - DAY
FRODO is up in a tree, sleeping. BOROMIR watches over him from the ground.
The Ring whispers to him in the language of Mordor. He looks uneasy, hesitating
between going away from the temptation and staying to watch over the hobbit.
BOROMIR: Æ The fight started many months ago
And you can make me feel like I could end this all
Why you come and talk to me I think I finally know
You're the One Ring, you wanna be with your master
And you know I'm the easiest one in the Fellowship to corrupt
Whisper in a weak man's ear could give Mordor a chance
That's evil and I don't wanna play
Cuz being near you touches me more than I can say
Since I'm just a tool to you I'm saying stay away
And let me rest in peace
Let me rest in peace
Let me get some sleep
Let me take my hate and bury it
In a hole six foot deep
I can lay my body down
But I can't find my sweet respite
So let me rest in peace
You know, I'm never gonna be your slave
And you just love to play the thought that I might misbehave
But I never will and I'm telling you stop visiting my mind
And let me rest in peace
FRODO has awakened, but BOROMIR hasn't noticed since he won't look at
him, afraid of what he might then do. The hobbit watches the man, astonished
and clearly distrustful now.
BOROMIR: Æ I know I should go but I follow you like a man possessed
There's a traitor here beneath my breast
And it hurts me more than you've ever guessed
Push me more and my heartbeat'll break my chest
But I can see you're unimpressed
Please leave me be and let me rest in peace
BOROMIR gets in a frenzy and hits at trees with his sword during the rest
of the song, letting go of all the frustration he's kept within himself
so far.
BOROMIR: Æ Let me get some sleep
Let me take my hate and bury it
In a hole six foot deep
I can lay my body down
But I can't find my sweet respite
So let me rest in peace!
Why won't you let me rest in peace!
BOROMIR sinks down, his back to a tree. FRODO leaps down from the tree
he was on and runs away. BOROMIR immediately stands up, ready to follow.
BOROMIR: Frodo, wait! Stay! I didn't mean... I'd never...
BOROMIR sinks back down and weeps, exhausted by his mental struggle with
the will of the Ring.
CUT TO :
15. EXT. WOODS - DAY
ARAGORN and LEGOLAS are inspecting the woods together.
LEGOLAS: I felt one of my race suffer... Some evil is growing. An evil
against which I am totally powerless.
ARAGORN: Why should you be powerless?
LEGOLAS: It is the one evil which can seduce me... Sweet songs until the
end of time. How could an elf resist that? [A beat.] Have you never heard
of the legend of Sweet? [ARAGORN shakes his head no, puzzled.] Sweet is
a demon. A she-demon. The lady of the dance, one could say. Elves never
could fight her - the one time she'd come into this world, only men managed
to stop her, and it was already hard enough for them.
They fall silent for a moment, keep inspecting the woods.
LEGOLAS: The Ringbearer is lucky to have us all. We are all ready to die
for him, are we not? [He really believes that.]
ARAGORN: I... suppose. I'd better go back to the camp, check on him. His
burden is heavy. One day, he will have to walk on by himself. Will you
be alright?
LEGOLAS: Yes, the millenia-old silvan-raised elf can inspect a wood on
his own.
ARAGORN, clearly missing the sarcasm: Alright.
ARAGORN leaves. LEGOLAS puts down his weapons and takes the pendant out
of his pocket. He slides it around his neck.
LEGOLAS: Æ Does anybody even notice
How beautiful I am?
LEGOLAS turns back to pick his weapons up, and finds himself facing the
puppet women, HENCHWOMEN of SWEET. One of them knocks him out.
FADE OUT
ACT III
16. EXT. WOODS - ANOTHER CLEARING, IN WHICH STANDS A SMALL HILL - DUSK
LEGOLAS wakes up. A HENCHWOMAN comes up to him as he's about to flee.
His attempt at escaping and her preventing him turn out to be a very good
ballet. In the end, all three HENCHWOMEN circle him, dancing around him.
One of them pushes him to the foot of the hill.
Focus on SWEET's feet as she tap-dances her way down the hill ' obviously,
her tap-dancing shouldn't make any sound on the ground, but it does anyway.
Progressively, her whole body is revealed. She is dressed in a red pants
suit, an outfit which does not fit the time and place of this story, and
clashes with Legolas' own clothes.
SWEET: Æ Why'd you run away
Don't you like my style?
[changes her clothes into an elvish blue dress - she actually has a great
body]
Why don't you come and play?
I guarantee a [rips her mouth off] great big smile [puts it back on]
I come from the imagination
And I'm here strictly by your invocation [shows parchment]
So what do you say...
Why don't we dance a while?
SWEET makes LEGOLAS stand up with a gesture of her hand, and they dance
together, a very sexy dance, which he is obviously enjoying as much as
she is.
SWEET: Æ I'm the how to swing
I'm the twist and shout
When you gotta sing
When you gotta let it out
You call me and I come a-runnin'
I turn the music on, I bring the fun in
Now we're partyin', that's what it's all about
Cuz I know what you feel, elf...
I know just what you feel, elf...
LEGOLAS: So you are a gifted demon, bringing the fun in...
SWEET: [chuckles] Æ All these melodies, they go on too long
Then that energy starts to come on way too strong
All those hearts lay open - that must sting
And some customers just die combustin'
[makes a burnt body appear, then disappear]
That's the penalty when life is but a song
You brought me down into this land
So when we blow this scene
Back we will go to my kingdom below
Where you will be my king
Cuz I know what you feel, elf...
LEGOLAS: Æ No you see, you and me, wouldn't be very regal
SWEET: Æ I'll make it real, elf...
LEGOLAS: Æ What I mean's, you'll grow old, and I am an eternal
SWEET: Æ I can bring th'whole country to ruin
And still have time to get a soft shoe in
LEGOLAS: Æ Now that's great, but I'm late, and I'd hate to delay
them
SWEET: Æ Something's cookin', I'm at the griddle
I bought Nero his very first fiddle
LEGOLAS: Æ They'll get pissed, if I miss, see our friend's the Ringbearer...
SWEET: The Ringbearer?
LEGOLAS, unsure: Uh-huh?
SWEET, chuckles, then to her HENCHWOMEN: Find him. Tell him... tell him
everything. Just get him here. I wanna see the Ringbearer burn.
Æ Now we're partyin'
That's what it's all about...
CUT TO:
17. EXT. WOODS - NEAR THE CAMP - DUSK
GANDALF and FRODO are walking together, having a very serious conversation.
FRODO: I have the strangest ill-feeling, Gandalf.
GANDALF: What's stopping you from sharing?
FRODO: The fear that the confession might turn into the latest pop hit.
See...
GANDALF: Well?
FRODO: What if this war, everything, what if it changed things too much?
What if we saved something which would not feel like home anymore?
GANDALF: Are you afraid the Shire might get caught in the war?
FRODO: More something along the lines of: what if there's no more pipe
herb when we get back?
GANDALF: Oh. [clearly disillusioned - he thought the hobbit was finally
wondering about serious matters] Well. I'm sure there'll still be some.
[long uneasy silence] Should you train a bit?
FRODO: Sure. [steps away] I'm ready.
GANDALF: Æ You're not ready for the fight outside
You keep pretending but you just can't hide
Throughout the whole song, GANDALF throws balls of light onto FRODO with
his magic stick. FRODO manages to dodge most of them in slow mo. When
they do hit him he's not hurt, however.
GANDALF: Æ I know I said that I'd be standing by your side
But I...
Your path's unbeaten and it's all up hill
And you can meet it but you never will
And we're the reason that you're standing still
And I...
I wish I could say the right words to lead you through this land
Wish I could play the father and take you by the hand
Wish you could stay
But now I understand
We are standing in the way
The dangers around you you don't see at all
For you know we're here to take that call
And you just follow when you should be leading on
But I...
Yet the greatest danger you see all too clear
It lies in all of us, in our hopes and fears
Cuz th'Ring sure knows how to use 'em against us
And I...
I wish I could lay your arms down and take up your burden
Wish I could slay your demons but they're inside us all
Wish you could stay
For us to protect you
But we are standing in the way...
We're just standing in the way...
FRODO, once training's done: Did you just say something?
GANDALF shakes his head no. FRODO shrugs and starts heading back to the
camp nearby (we can actually see the camp from here). ARAGORN comes up
beside the wizard and they both watch FRODO go up and talk with the other
hobbits.
ARAGORN: Æ We're all under its spell
Eru how can this be
He needs to flee from us all
The Fellowship's over
Frodo don't you see
Or there'll be nothing left of us
It made us believe
GANDALF: Æ Believe me we don't want you to go
BOTH: Æ And it'll grieve us 'cause we love you so
But we all know
GANDALF: Æ Wish I could say the right words to lead through this
land
Wish I could play the father and take you by the hand
Wish you could stay
ARAGORN: Æ Wish I could trust that none of us'll give in
But we know the risk's too great
We can't resist this damned Ring forever and I just
Wish you could stay
BOTH: Æ Wish you could stay with us
Wish you could stay
Wish you could stay with us
Wish you could stay...
They start walking back to the camp.
CUT TO:
18. EXT. WOODS - THE CAMP CLEARING - NIGHT
SAM runs towards ARAGORN and GANDALF.
SAM: Mister Gandalf! Mister Gandalf! Mister Frodo is talking nonsense.
He wants to go away on his own. You've got to talk him out of it!
All the company (but BOROMIR, who is not there, and obviously LEGOLAS)
now circles FRODO, and they look expectantly up at GANDALF. The wizard
takes his time and kneels down in front of FRODO, looking him in the eye.
GANDALF: The Ringbearer knows the path he should follow, and I am not
one to guide him if he does not wish me to.
FRODO's eyes are welled up with tears, as well as GANDALF's. The wizard
gets up and ARAGORN takes his place.
ARAGORN: My sword was yours, and I would have followed you to Mordor.
May the stars be favourable to you. Be strong, little master.
ARAGORN gets up and joins the circle around FRODO. FRODO looks at each
of them sadly, in silence.
FRODO: Thank you so much, all of you. You have been great companions.
But I need to go on alone. Bid Legolas and Boromir farewell for me.
He walks away in silence, breaking the circle. They look at his retreating
form. A beat.
SAM: What is your problem, all of you? He can't go alone! I'm going with
him.
SAM runs away after FRODO, before GANDALF can do a thing to stop him.
PIPPIN and MERRY look at each other, then follow without a word.
GANDALF: Let them go. They will come back when they see they are not wanted.
Let us just hope Frodo will be strong enough indeed.
GIMLI: I don't like any of this. They should have all stayed with us.
And where are the human and the elf gone to now? We haven't seen them
in a while.
ARAGORN: I am worried about Legolas. Boromir can handle his own, but Legolas
confessed his powerlessness to me, against this new evil he's sensed.
He thinks it's a demon.
GANDALF: May your hearts be at peace, my friends. Legolas must be enjoying
the forest while he can and Boromir is probably looking for some Orc to
kill. When all are back, we will head to the White City. Boromir shall
be pleased to hear this.
CUT TO:
19. EXT. WOODS - NIGHT
FRODO walks silently forward. He does not look so sure about what he's
just done by now. Suddenly, a noise on his left. He starts, and BOROMIR
comes out from behind a tree, holding one of SWEET's HENCHWOMEN. FRODO
looks suspicious, his hand on the hilt of Sting.
BOROMIR, obviously trying to prove to FRODO that he is on his side: Look
what I found.
PIPPIN and MERRY come up to them, running. They have spotted SAM, hidden
behind a tree, but he has asked them (thanks to signs) not to tell the
others of his presence.
PIPPIN: Is it a bad guy? Or, well, woman, or whatever?
BOROMIR: She's got a nice little story for the Ringbearer, now, don't
you? [pushes her forward] Come on, then. Sing.
HENCHWOMAN: My mistress has your elvish friend hostage in the woods, because
he summoned her, and at midnight she is going to take him to the underworld
to be her king.
MERRY: What does she want?
HENCHWOMAN, pointing at FRODO: Him.
BOROMIR, taking her by the arm: If that's all you've got to say-
She struggles free, BOROMIR stumbles, and she runs away into the woods.
BOROMIR: Strong girl. Some day she might turn into a real fighter.
PIPPIN: Now let's plan the elvish rescue of the day. How about we all
go and kick the baddies' collective ass?
FRODO: You will not do a thing.
MERRY: You kidding? I know Legolas must love songs, but the underworld
is so not a place for him, should he dance his way there or not.
FRODO: I will go alone.
BOROMIR: What sort of herb have you been smoking now? I've got your back,
little one.
FRODO: I though it was too great of a temptation. Isn't that what you
sang?
PIPPIN: Boromir sang yet another little song?
MERRY: Would you say it was more of a languorous elvish ballad or a manly
war song?
PIPPIN: Let it go, Merry.
FRODO, clutching the Ring on his chest, silently challenging people to
contradict what he's saying: I am going alone. It's time for us to part.
I need to go alone.
Before anyone can protest, he runs away into the woods, in the same direction
as the HENCHWOMAN took.
MERRY: We'll go tell the others.
MERRY takes PIPPIN by the arm and they run back towards the camp. BOROMIR
and SAM just stand there, watching the direction which FRODO took. SAM
is still hidden behind the tree.
CUT TO :
20. EXT. WOODS - THE CAMP CLEARING - NIGHT
MERRY and PIPPIN arrive, running.
ARAGORN, instantly alarmed: What happened to Sam?
MERRY: I guess he and Boromir are gonna follow Frodo.
PIPPIN: And I don't care what you say, mister super powerful and extra
frightening wizard, but we need to go as well!
MERRY: The thing making us sing, it's got Legolas, and it's gonna take
him to the underworld!
GIMLI: Why would it do that? Who'd be stupid enough to wanna be with that
elf?
PIPPIN: Apparently it's a she, and she wants a king.
GIMLI: Oh.
MERRY: Frodo's gone to try and rescue Legolas, but he's not gonna make
it, is he, Strider? We need to go and help him out.
GANDALF: We will not. Frodo has chosen his path, and we must respect it.
Did he ask you to come and fetch us?
PIPPIN: Yeah! Sort of! He didn't actually say it, but it was clear in
the way he ran away from us that he wanted -
GANDALF: That's enough. He has chosen. Who are we to question his decision?
MERRY, taken aback: His friends???
GANDALF: Let us hush. This discussion is closed. Frodo is a big hobbit
enough. He'll work it through. You said it yourself, Meriandoc Brandibuck.
They sit down, silently. Very grimly. Even GANDALF is not happy with leaving
Frodo alone. ARAGORN fidgets nervously.
CUT TO:
21. EXT. DEEP IN THE WOODS - NIGHT
FRODO is walking on.
FRODO: Æ I touch the fire and it talks to me
I look at it and it's a ring
Why can't I sleep
The Ring won't leave my mind
I want some peace back
DISSOLVE TO:
22. EXT. THE HILL ON THE CLEARING - NIGHT
SWEET pushes LEGOLAS onto the hill. They both sit there. FRODO sings in
voice-over.
FRODO: Æ Now through the smoke
Legolas calls to me
To make my way across the flames
To save the day
Or maybe fade away
I guess it's all the same
CUT TO :
23. EXT. WOODS - NIGHT
FRODO keeps walking.
FRODO: Æ So I will walk through the fire
'Cause where else can I turn
And I will walk through the fire
And let it...
CUT TO:
24. EXT. WOODS - NIGHT
SAM steps out from behind the tree, BOROMIR notices him after a few seconds.
SAM, aside: Æ The love I feel is scorching me
'Cause Frodo left without a word
BOROMIR, aside as well: Æ I hope he fries!
The Ring's mine if he dies.
BOTH, looking at each other: Æ We'd better help him out.
They start walking in the direction FRODO took.
INTERCUT WITH:
25. EXT. WOODS - THE HILL ON THE CLEARING - NIGHT
SWEET stands up and smiles at LEGOLAS.
SWEET: Æ Cuz he is drawn to the fire
Some people
BOROMIR and SAM: Æ He will
ALL THREE: Æ never learn
And he will walk through the fire
And let it...
CUT TO:
26. EXT. WOODS - THE CAMP CLEARING - NIGHT
GANDALF stands up and steps away from the company, his mind clearly troubled.
GANDALF: Æ Is it too soon for him to go?
ARAGORN stands up and joins him.
GANDALF and ARAGORN: Æ Are we leaving them in danger?
Is Frodo not good enough just yet?
PIPPIN, standing up: Æ What if Frodo can't defeat it?
MERRY, standing up: Æ Beady eyes is right, we're needed!
Or we could just sit around and brood. [looks at GIMLI, sulking, playing
grimly with his axe]
ALL: Æ We'll keep together [GIMLI stands up too]
It's what we've always been meant to do
[start walking into the woods, PIPPIN and MERRY leading since they know
the way]
So we will walk through the fire
CUT TO:
27. WOODS - VARIOUS - NIGHT
FRODO walks alone in the night. The scene rotates between the various
players and groups as they make their way to the clearing with the hill.
FRODO: Æ So one by one, I make them turn from me
I know my friends can't fight the Ring
ARAGORN: Æ What can't we face
FRODO: Æ And all my pain, not one among them knows
ARAGORN: Æ If we're together?
FRODO: Æ And never can be told
MERRY & PIPPIN: Æ With the ring he became much graver
SWEET: Æ So one by one they come to me
The distant redness as their guide
That single Ring
Is what they have in mind
It calls to what they have inside
BOROMIR: Æ First I'll take it, then I'll save him!
SAM: Æ Everything is turning out so dark...
FRODO: Æ Sinkin' under the burden
BOROMIR: Æ No, I'll save him, then I'll take it!
GIMLI: Æ I think this line's mostly filler
GANDALF and ARAGORN: Æ What's it going to take to strike a spark?
FRODO: Æ These endless days are finally ending in a blaze
SWEET: Æ They will come to me
ALL FELLOWSHIP: Æ And we are caught in the fire
The point of no return
And we will walk through the fire
And let it burn
Let it burn
Let it burn
Let it burn!
CUT TO:
28. EXT. WOODS - THE CLEARING WITH THE HILL - NIGHT
FRODO steps into the clearing. He is immediately seized by the HENCHWOMEN.
SWEET: Showtime.
FADE OUT
ACT IV
29. EXT. WOODS - THE CLEARING WITH THE HILL - NIGHT
LEGOLAS is under SWEET's power, we see by the concentrated look on his
face that he's trying to set himself free. FRODO is stilled by the HENCHWOMEN
at the foot of the hill, he struggles but it is of no use.
SWEET: I love a good entrance.
BOROMIR, coming in, sword in hand: How are you with death scenes?
SWEET: Aaaah... my valiant, honourable man.
SWEET gestures to her HENCHWOMEN, they let go of FRODO to fight BOROMIR.
During the whole beginning of FRODO's song, the fight will go on.
SWEET: Now it's just the pretty elf, you, and me, sweetheart.
LEGOLAS: Frodo, I swear I didn't summon her.
FRODO: It doesn't matter. [to SWEET] Let's make a deal. You let him go,
and take me as your king.
SWEET: Honey, that's sweet, really, but I prefer taller guys. Just wanna
hear you sing. Plus, you don't wanna waste your life away, do you? Isn't
it wonderful being here, in Middle Earth?
FRODO: I think you already know what I'm going to sing.
Æ This trip's a show and we all play our parts
And when the music starts, we open up our hearts
It's alright if some things come out wrong
We'll sing a happy song and you can sing along
When there's life - there's hope
Every day's - a gift
Stand up for - the fight
Whistle while - you work
So hard - all days
To be like other hobbits
To fit in in this darkening world
Can't stand the Ring
The Fellowship has entered the clearing, BOROMIR has already managed to
knock out all the HENCHWOMEN.
GANDALF: He needs back-up. Merry, Pippin.
MERRY and PIPPIN go up to FRODO and dance and sing back-up for him.
FRODO: Æ Can't leave the Ring...
Give me something else to sing about
I need something else to sing about
This trip's a song you don't get to rehearse
And every single verse can make it that much worse
Still my friends don't know why I have lost
My merriness, my joy, and all my good humour
When th'Ring - came to me
My shoulders - sunk in
Under this new - burden
The loneliness - the call
Too rash - too much
The Fellowship has failed
Its aim was to protect the Ringbearer
But I have come upon
The greatest secret
There was no pain,
No fear, no doubt
'Til I'd been given
The Ring
Cuz that's my refrain
My life's a lonely hell
Since I've been given
The Ring
I must go on alone
My lonely fate's
Been decided by
The Ring
It's all because of the Ring
So give me something else to sing about
Please give me something else
FRODO dances more and more quickly and frantically. Smoke starts to come
out of his body. The Fellowship simply watches him, totally bewildered
and taken aback by his revelations. Suddenly, SAM comes out of the woods
(he was hidden behind yet another tree) and takes FRODO in his arms, stopping
his dance.
SAM: Æ The Ring's not that powerful
The Ring cannot stop
Me from loving you
Love's too strong
You're not alone
The pain that you feel
You only can bear
Thanks to love
You mustn't shut your heart out
I know I couldn't stand that
LEGOLAS: The hardest thing for you little one, is to let people in.
SAM and FRODO just stare at each other, tears welling up in their eyes.
SWEET smiles and claps.
SWEET: Now that was a show-stopping number. Not quite the fireworks I
was hopin' for but-
BOROMIR: Get outta here.
SWEET, chuckling: Oh, I smell anger over here. I guess the pretty elf
and I should be on our way.
ARAGORN: That's never gonna happen.
SWEET: Hey, I didn't write the rules. He summoned me.
LEGOLAS: I didn't! She keeps saying that, but I'd never endanger the Fellowship,
she just won't listen...
SWEET: You've got my talisman on, sweet thing... [gestures to pendant]
LEGOLAS: This? No, I - I found it near the camp, I thought it was beautiful
so I picked it up, but I didn't summon anything!
SWEET: Well, that's a twist.
GANDALF: If it was near the camp, one of us might as well have done it.
They all look at each other, suspicious, until PIPPIN nervously raises
his hand.
MERRY: Pippin?!?
PIPPIN: Well we've all been under so much pressure lately... I didn't
know about the burning up, I swear, I didn't know what was gonna happen!
I just thought there were gonna be dances and songs... I just wanted to
make sure we'd work out, get a happy ending.
SWEET, laughs: I think everything worked out just fine.
PIPPIN: Does that mean that I have to be your... king?
SWEET, laughing: It's tempting... But I think we'll waive that clause
just this once. Cheer up everyone! You beat the bad guy.
Æ What a lot of fun
You guys have been real swell
And there's not a one
Who can say this ended well
All those secrets you've been concealing
Say you're happy now
Once more with the Ring
Now I gotta run
See you all... in hell!
SWEET goes up into a whirl of smoke. LEGOLAS stands up from the hill,
at last totally free of her control.
LEGOLAS: Æ Where do we go from here?
LEGOLAS & SAM & BOROMIR: Æ Where do we go from here?
GANDALF & ARAGORN: Æ The battle's done
And we kind of won
GANDALF & ARAGORN & FRODO: Æ So we sound our victory cheer
Where do we go from here?
MERRY & PIPPIN & GIMLI: Æ Why is the path unclear
When we know Mordor's near?
ALL: Æ Understand we'll go hand in hand
But Frodo'll walk alone in fear
ARAGORN: Æ Tell me!
ALL: Æ Where do we go from here?
When does the end appear?
FRODO, very frustrated: Bugger this!
ALL BUT FRODO: Æ When do the trumpets cheer?
FRODO, sadder: I have to leave.
FRODO walks away into the woods.
CUT TO:
30. EXT. WOODS - NEAR THE CLEARING WITH THE HILL - NIGHT
FRODO is walking away. The group sings in voice-over, distant and low.
ALL BUT FRODO: Æ The curtains close on a hug unknown
SAM: Mister Frodo!
SAM appears behind FRODO, running after him. FRODO turns around slowly,
trying to keep a poker face.
FRODO: Sam, you should go back to them, finish the big group singing.
The path is for me alone.
SAM: I don't want to. I know your fate's said to be yours alone, but I'm
sure you can be alone among them for a tad longer. As for myself... I'll
always be your shadow. Always by your side.
FRODO, clearly heartbroken: Sam, really, go back to them. You belong with
them.
SAM: I belong with you! That is an irrevocable fact. I'd die for you,
and I don't care about that damned ring! [A beat. Frodo has a strange,
vacant look.] Mister Frodo?
FRODO: Æ I touch the fire and it talks to me
I look at it and it's a ring
SAM: Æ You lied... you need us all...
FRODO: Æ This isn't real but I just wanna feel...
SAM: Æ you've just gotta feel...
SAM and FRODO hug, a big huge rough and fierce hug.
FRODO: Oh, Sam!
SAM, withdrawing a little: Does that mean you're staying?
FRODO: Let's give the Fellowship another chance!
Sam hugs him again.
ALL BUT THE TWO HOBBITS: Æ Where do we go from here?
THE END
FADE TO BLACK